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SHEDDING MY FAKE RELIGION

This testimony is from
Thorne, a member of
Street Level Ministries
Twin Ports (Duluth,
Minnesota and
Superior, Wisconsin).

y parents divorced when I was five, and my of a much worse time than what I had ever personally
father gave up custody of me and my siblings experienced. She trusted God to move her across the
for drugs and jail sentences instead. While he United States to bless her with a loving Christian
M was absent, my mother helped me learn more community. Her health improved, and her personality
about God and invited me into adult Bible studies as I changed dramatically. As I saw God heal her, my proud,
grew up. By the time I was eight years old, my dad had religious heart began to soften. He helped me take
begun to establish a home where I could visit him on the responsibility for my actions and let go of the blame I
weekends. Shortly after, I asked God into my heart, placed on others.
frequently thanking my heavenly Father for a chance to
have my dad back.

Childlike faith is a trait God commands, but my focus on
faith was tested heavily as I approached my teens. The
comfort I had once experienced from God dwindled once
my family broke apart again. My father chose a life of
addiction, and I decided that I wasn’t ready to give him
up. Forsaking God at thirteen, I smoked and drank
whatever would get me closer to my dad. I found
momentary worth from his acceptance and dismissed my
guilt by further altering my state of mind.

In a depressed, broken state, I twisted my beliefs into a
self-serving spirituality that fit the life I was living. I just Today I have given up drug use and much of the
smiled and nodded my way through the sermons I importance I placed on the attention of others. God is still
attended. Any conviction that the Holy Spirit blessed me working on my heart, destroying my pride, and refueling
with was undoubtedly ignored, hardening my heart. my desire to know Him intimately. I trust in Jesus Christ’s
saving grace, knowing that religious knowledge does
I believe my holy “Christian” persona fooled those around nothing to save me or those in my life.
me for a long time, leaving a wake of destruction in those
who were spiritually unsteady. Pastors and leaders I still fail daily by sometimes misplacing faith in patriotism,
seemingly allowed me to skate by with my religious seeking fulfillment through work accomplishments, or
knowledge and well-placed convictions. I knew all the letting my thoughts wander outside the realm of “things
right words to say until God began to show me how real above.” But when I bring my failures to God instead of
faith actually changes a person. burying them, I permit Him to direct my life and my
desires. He is making me reliant upon Him as I serve Him
My best friend, having never been truly convinced by my in my church, my friendships, and soon in my marriage.
unsightly display of religion, called out to God in the midst

8 WORD ON THE STREET MAGAZINE