Page 21 - WOTS 59
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WOTS That Now?































         The internet is full of information and   and  livestock  have  the  right-of-way  on
         all of it is true! Okay, not so, but it can   public roads.
         provide a gut-wrenching laugh or be a
         swell  time  sucker  when  you  are   In  Sun  Prairie,  nuclear  weapons  may  not
         looking for something to do on a rainy   be manufactured in the city limits.
         day.  Our  writing  staff  spent  a  dabble
         of time to look into some fake terms,   One  may  not  camp  in  a  wagon  on  any
         mind-bending strange laws, and what   public highway without risking a fine of up
         some  dead  people  said  before  they   to ten dollars.
         croaked.  Here’s  one  joke  to  get  you
         started:  So  why  did  the  hipster  burn   Famous Last Words
         his  tongue  on  coffee?  He  drank  it   Now let’s honor the dead.  Or at least hear
         before it was cool.            what they had to say on their dying day.

         Alternative Medical Terminology   “I want to die peacefully in my sleep like
         “Doctor,  where  exactly  did  you  get   my  grandfather.  Not  screaming  in  terror
         those  heinous  definitions  from?”   like his passengers.”     —Jim Harkins
         “Well,  son,  they  are  fresh  out  of  the   “I drank what?” —Socrates
         alternative medical dictionary.”   “Go away... I'm alright.”  —H. G. Wells
                                        “...the fog is rising.” —Emily Dickinson
         Art-ery —The study of paintings   “Now comes the mystery.” —Henry Ward
         Mor-bid —A higher offer        Beecher
         En][e-ma —Not a friend         “They  couldn't  hit  an  elephant  at  this
         Fib-ula —A small lie           dist...” —General  Sedgwick (Killed at the
         Ur-ine —Opposite of “You're out!”   Spotsylvania  battle  1864,  imprudently
         Nit-rates —Cheaper than day rates   looking  over  the  parapet  at  the  enemy
                                        lines)
         State Laws?                    “I see earth receding; heaven is opening.
         “Officer, are you sure these are laws?   God is calling me.” —D.L. Moody
         Did  you  get  your  badge  out  of  a   “Into  Thy  hands  I  commend  my  spirit!
         Cracker Jack box?”             Thou hast redeemed me, O God of truth.”
                                        —Martin Luther
         In  Wisconsin,  margarine  may  not  be
         substituted  for  butter  in  restaurants   Did  you  feel  that?  It’s  the  feeling  of  you
         unless it is requested by the customer   getting  a  hair  smarter,  but  it  was  only  a
                                        hair.
         Picture Sources:
         Stop Reinventing Yourself, start sign:
         miraclesarebrewing.com/wp-content/uploads/2013/09/stop-sign.jpg
         Wots that Now:
         nerdnirvana.org/wp-content/uploads/2011/11/58801.jpg
         themetapicture.com
         Peculiar People:
         abitofgeek.net/wp-content/uploads/2014/01/crowd.jpg
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